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Nov 13, 2013

Flatliners

You may be a Flatline Christian if you have any of these symptoms:

1. The thought of loving someone else sends your brain sensory into overload.
2. You become very paranoid if you have to stand up and raise your hands during praise and worship.
3. You have visions of the good ship lollipop when thinking of God.
4. The thought of fellowshipping with anyone in your ecclesia starts your abdomen cramping. And it produces thoughts of vomiting projectiles preceding from your heart.
5. You begin to nervously sweat at the onset of someone suggesting that you should study the word of God or even listen to a podcast.
6. The mention of tithing produces immediate mental explosive diarrhea - you get the runs, you begin the process of running far, far away into another galaxy in your mind and out the door.
7. System shut down starts on the count of T minus 10 when you hear the words, die to self, deny yourself, and Yahweh is right and you're wrong.
8. Serving others means to YOU others only serving YOU.
9. You believe that Yahweh is really Captain Merrill Stubing.
10. You believe all is well and YOU PERSONALLY will be welcomed into the Kingdom by Hervé Villechaize
(Tattoo) Yashua's little brother.

YOU CAN SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND BECAUSE YOU'RE A FLATLINER ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- YOU DEMONSTRATE NO ACTIVITY OF A DISCIPLES LIFE - You have been pronounced DEAD!

Matthew 7:21-23
“Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven. Many will say to Me in that day, ‘Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?’ And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!’

Revelation 3:16
So then, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will vomit you out of My mouth.









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